Skip to main content

Wait for it...

Let's talk about Pink Eye. 
It is such a disgusting infection, don't you think?
Obviously, it cannot be helped by antibiotics or with any natural remedy 
(like breast milk)

Know what else is disgusting? 

Eyelids on boys. 
Boy's eyelids are not at all necessary, and I am fairly certain that boys were born with them by mistake. 
They are just like a flap of extra face skin, with no purpose, definitely not meant to protect their eyeballs. 
I know men who haven't had their eyelids removed, and they are ALWAYS made fun of growing up.
Girls don't have to worry about this, because they can figure out how to keep their eyelids clean.  

Removing my son's eyelids will help prevent him from rubbing his eyes. 
He will have zero self control, and this is a horribly disgusting habit that needs to be stopped anyway. 
Yeah, this will prevent that for sure. 
How do I know? People told me, so it must be true. 
Yeah, this will make him feel normal, and just like everyone else.
This is a personal choice, and I have decided it is best for MY son. 
  
When his eyeball becomes dried out and calloused, unable to function... 
I am sure there will be a blue pill to help with that.
I am getting his eyelids removed while he is young, so he wont remember the pain. 
I have heard they will numb his eyelid, but even if they don't, he will most definitely get a tall glass of sugar water to relieve the pain. 
He will be glad that I did this, so he can look just like all of the other boys that have had their eyelids removed.
THAT, after all, is the most important thing. 



Let's see if this helps.

Try to swap out the following words...

Pink Eye - Infection
Eyelids - Foreskin
Eye/Eyeball - Penis or Glans
Rubbing - Masturbating (Go figure)

GET IT!?!?
If you want to know more... please click HERE


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Green Pediatricians" . . . less common than the Yeti

My EDD was fast approaching, and I didn't have a pediatrician yet. After months and months of research, I made some pretty significant decisions during my pregnancy, and I was learning that they were not exactly falling into the "norm".  I decided that I would schedule appointments to interview pediatricians. I started calling my friends to see who they thought I should consider. OF COURSE every one of them suggested their own doctors. On one hand, I was so happy to hear that so many of my loved ones were happy with their choice in providers for their kiddos. . . On the other however, I was becoming more and more frustrated with the process.  The first few interviews I went to in person. I cyber stalked these docs, and they SEEMED to be aligned with my new found "crunchiness". 
DOC #1  She seemed to be a good candidate because she worked with the hospital where I was going to be giving birth. She was really nice at the beginning. That ended as soon as she real…

Cloth V.S. Disposable . . . It's not just about the environment

So here I was again, pregnant with my son and trying to wade through the virtual piles of research I had compiled on diaper options. You would think this would be a super easy decision . . . but I was a Crunchy mom-to-be in a world full of Cashmere and Silk. As a matter of fact, before I joined my Bradley Group, I only knew one person cloth diapering . . . and she is over 500 miles away. Thank you 'neighbor'. You know who you are, and you know I love ya!

This is what I knew
*Cloth is better for the environment - Less waste in the landfills *I really wanted to make cloth work, long before I found out I was pregnant *My son is worth all the hard work. 'Wait . . . how hard will it be?" *Baby butts wearing a cloth diaper are simply ADORABLE!




















This is what I was told
*"Cloth diapers smell so bad, even when they are just wet" *"It is so much easier to use disposables" *"You are such a hippie" *"You are braver than I am"  *"I could never do it…

To Cut Or Not To Cut. . . Is this really even a question?

Oh Boy . . .

I am well aware that circumcision is a topic that many are not comfortable thinking about, let alone discussing. I also know that when I was first looking into facts, actual facts, about the pros and cons . . . I found more personal opinions than anything else.

This all started for me when I found out I was pregnant, even before I knew I was having a boy. A friend of mine posted an episode of Penn & Teller's "Bulls***" on her Facebook page. It was a documentary on circumcision, and while it didn't make up my mind for me . . . it sure did raise some questions that I was determined to find the answers to.

 I hadn't even considered (gasp) not circumcising my child! After all, it is just what is done, right?

Before you watch this . . . please be warned that there is some harsh language and some of the scenes are very tough to watch. Penn & Teller: Circumcision is BULLSH*T (video found on YouTube)
So here is where my journey started. I asked friend…