I have found myself in a situation that is completely new to me. It's hard to admit that I am not The Great and Powerful Jen, able to handle everything on my own . . . from behind the curtain.
|". . . pay no attention. . . "|
As hard as it was to do . . . I needed to ask for help. In the past 2 years, I have been working on paying it forward whenever I can. It's never been much, but I discovered that it filled my heart and soul in ways that I needed. In ways that are hard to explain.
On occasion, I would go onto this site called GoFundMe. I was moved by so many of the stories, but even more so by the generosity of strangers.
Some of the stories brought me to tears.
From time to time, I would see a friend post a link about a friend or family member in need. I have even had some close friends turn to this resource to seek help.
NEVER did I imagine that I would be in the position where I would be telling my story there. Reaching out to friends, family and strangers alike, admitting that right now, I can't do it alone. Yet here I am.
Originally, I asked for small loans, which I promised to pay back as soon as my disability benefits were approved. Shortly after posting, I was asked to remove the loan request, as it is against the policy of the site. So instead, I have made the promise to
pay it forward.
EVERY SINGLE PENNY . . .
I created my GoFundMe account 48 hours ago, only days after getting the news that my body needs to be fixed, and mere hours after it hit me that NO WORK = NO MONEY.
In the past 2 days, my friends and family & their friends and family have blown my mind with generosity and selflessness.
This experience has proven to be the most humbling moment of my life . . . but I have a feeling that this is just the beginning.
UPDATE - With the generosity of a colleague and mentor, I have what I need to get me by for 2-3 months. I have a renewed faith in humanity after these past few days. (Once my short term goal was met, I was asked to take down the gofundme page)
I have been told that being approved for Social Security Disability takes MUCH longer on average than I expected (and I am not likely to be approved because of my age).
I am hoping to continue to raise funds, because we are only in the clear until the end of June. I really don't know how I will be paying my rent in July, or if I will still have a car, but what I DO KNOW, is that I won't go down without a fight. I have reached out to every state and local resource available... I am still waiting.
I will update when I know more about my situation.
For now, I leave you with my inner mantra . . .